Thoughts

P. for Pressure

Hi. Me again.

What has been pondering through my brain is the letter P. With it I feel Pressure. This word has me in it’s grip and I can’t seem to shake it. I know there is a lot going on and I have many different projects I work on. It is a lot to handle. I hate to admit that. Therefore: Pressure.

When I feel pressure I can’t produce anything, it creeps up on me when I’m tired and overworked. Why would I put myself in that position? I want to achieve something. Simple as that. I have it in my gut that I want to build on something that is one day going to be greater then myself. It already is.

Now that everything involves so many people I – again – feel pressure. Now I’m not only letting myself down by not achieving something but I take people with me in the process. The people closest to me. I have to stay on top of everything or it all falls apart.

As I am P. – pressure – Pushing forward to strive my goals I am just tired. Now, also an addict. – Hi, I am Nova and I am addicted to Caffeine. – These days and will not wake up without it. I even like it when I drink just a little bit too much, I get all twitchy and silly and whatnot. Who knew? I have slowed my caffeine levels down this week tho and slept. And slept some more. The days flew by sleeping and soon I found myself in my taxi again getting my coffee after my second round. Didn’t drink too much tho and also not till that late. I was dead tired when I got home. I turn on the stream of UrbanBravo (doing a 24 hour one) and look at another tired face for a while. – this guy was rocking it and having fun with it tho –

In the tiredness I feel like I should cut some cords and get out of it. Everything feels heavy and that to do list is too long. – Get it out of your mind girl – Okay, okay, okay. After repeating the word ‘okay’ I must be able to do this. …. I can’t. I’ll do it after streaming.

NO! Okay, do one thing now, one thing after streaming – are my inner rambles. So I did. I was proud for accomplishing this one thing even tho it was something I feel I failed in. At least I let it go and out of my system. I don’t want more obstacles my way, got shit to do you know?

As this story gets a little silly at this point it all started with that P. for Pressure. What it comes down to is that it doesn’t matter how much you do, it’s how you do it. Admit and respect your own limitations and #focus on the things you want. Give it all the P. for POWER you got!

OH shit. Now I gotta make choices. Till next time.

XOXO Nova

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